It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
