Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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