I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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