So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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