your thong is hanging out like whoa
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
