This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
