During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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