Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
