Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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