put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
no, he came in my armpit
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
