Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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