Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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