ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
