And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
