her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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