I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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