Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
