I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
we're so committed to being not committed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
