DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
