$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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