i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize