check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
