Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize