he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
how does that bad decision feel?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
