he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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