that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
