i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
