At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
