Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
