I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
