glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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