Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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