i may or may not be watching the land before time
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
