I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
