He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
