their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Can i not drive my cunt home
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize