I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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