You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
