He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He felt like a one man threesome
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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