He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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