Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
