Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
