I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
