My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
