nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
