I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
