Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
