once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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