if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
