And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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