He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
