I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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