Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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