He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
