I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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