I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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