stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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