I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
