I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
