I love black thongs
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
