Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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