you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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