we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
