I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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