In the future we'll all be gay
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
