Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
