Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
