I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
