We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's never too late to be topless.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize