There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
