So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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