If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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