Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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