Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
