The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
