You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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