I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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