areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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